Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Me! Giving advice.

Disregard what you thought you wanted
have an open mind when you receive
particular physical characteristics

weed through the thousands of profiles
they're probably actually creepy.

it could save you some grief
only to have the guy never call again.

As a little background,
I get really jazzed when I receive
an email asking for my advice
about online dating.

Me! Giving advice.
Generally it's spam but
That means that someone out
there actually cares
and if I'm not mistaken,
Here's what she said:

"For me, I'm looking for
some kind of advice
if you're clicking with someone
on the internet and real life
you had good luck with finding
the online dating world
I know you're busy but


Well, ask and ye shall receive

here's a few pieces of advice
to watch for, what to look for,
how to know:

between a certain age range?
graduated from college?
I don't know how much weight
They could surprise you.
don't ignore that feeling.

just try to have an open mind when you
keep reminding yourself that you want
a really good time on a date, and like
the idea that a woman has to sit at home
and wait - my boyfriends MUST be intelligent

For the love of God, you will inevitably meet assholes
who thought that they'd rocked my world
I can't tell you how many times
I have met some really, really
crazy stalker chick. Did it suck?

Did you find it informative?

Do you want me ?

Monday, December 7, 2009

now I have to get through

I'm back at work after
being generally disgusting
now I have to get through
and I'm miserable about it

I'm fighting a cold
I woke up with a stomach
and Lord knows what else
lost two hours of much needed
something up off the floor
then we forgot to look at it

the aforementioned sickness
had a major cough/sneeze
like dealing with The Awful One
standing up, sitting down,
and now I have to get through

now the process
and Lord knows what else
a searing pain
ripped through my back
I'm coughing and sneezing
like I'm 63 years old
Pulled a muscle or something
in the ass and completely

I don't want to be here
and just dwell in that place
walking, laying down cause me
to take another look


I want to be
tired and cranky and stuffy and
nice and pretty and clean and
at home

Just don't read this

... I'm complaining.