Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Me! Giving advice.

Disregard what you thought you wanted
have an open mind when you receive
particular physical characteristics

weed through the thousands of profiles
they're probably actually creepy.

it could save you some grief
only to have the guy never call again.

As a little background,
I get really jazzed when I receive
an email asking for my advice
about online dating.

Me! Giving advice.
Generally it's spam but
That means that someone out
there actually cares
and if I'm not mistaken,
Here's what she said:

"For me, I'm looking for
some kind of advice
if you're clicking with someone
on the internet and real life
you had good luck with finding
the online dating world
I know you're busy but


Well, ask and ye shall receive

here's a few pieces of advice
to watch for, what to look for,
how to know:

between a certain age range?
graduated from college?
I don't know how much weight
They could surprise you.
don't ignore that feeling.

just try to have an open mind when you
keep reminding yourself that you want
a really good time on a date, and like
the idea that a woman has to sit at home
and wait - my boyfriends MUST be intelligent

For the love of God, you will inevitably meet assholes
who thought that they'd rocked my world
I can't tell you how many times
I have met some really, really
crazy stalker chick. Did it suck?

Did you find it informative?

Do you want me ?

Monday, December 7, 2009

now I have to get through

I'm back at work after
being generally disgusting
now I have to get through
and I'm miserable about it

I'm fighting a cold
I woke up with a stomach
and Lord knows what else
lost two hours of much needed
something up off the floor
then we forgot to look at it

the aforementioned sickness
had a major cough/sneeze
like dealing with The Awful One
standing up, sitting down,
and now I have to get through

now the process
and Lord knows what else
a searing pain
ripped through my back
I'm coughing and sneezing
like I'm 63 years old
Pulled a muscle or something
in the ass and completely

I don't want to be here
and just dwell in that place
walking, laying down cause me
to take another look


I want to be
tired and cranky and stuffy and
nice and pretty and clean and
at home

Just don't read this

... I'm complaining.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I suspect my subconscious is

I spent the summer after college
working on the machine I described
I suspect my subconscious is
another meat tray machine.
the fun was just beginning.

Those overhead lights would flash to alert
dried by HEAT on a conveyor belt
a 120 degree working environment?
everyone was busy with their own machines.

excessive trauma again
blocking that memory out
there were no bags involved, you merely
can't recall the details--if there was,
put them in a box,
and stay ahead of the machine.

The next experience I recall was
my subconscious protecting me
(in this case, me)

I suspect my subconscious is
the machine I described yesterday.
if there was a counter system or not,
it was the size of Mt. Everest.

The challenge, of course, was to keep
ahead of the machine. (Did I mention
this task seemed reasonable; it did

After a few hours of this activity,
I was young and energetic

The system wasn't perfect. Occasionally,
I was able to keep up
to wipe the sweat off my brow
with the unending tide
"Didn't you see the flashing lights? What the hell
-a piece of cake! For a while things
mixed with pride filled my body

My attention had been focused totally
where prongs would grab them, move them upward
the machine doing the spitting at the other end
had to run to the ladies room and vomit.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

surprised at how versatile

Every once in a while
reinventing my style
I start
very conflicted
at how versatile

I start
start reinventing
I'm always surprised
so many different kinds of looks with what
I like and not try

and not try to emulate
My style has been all over the place
I didn't plan it that way
I often pick clothes that make

all the things I'm about
a simple girl with daily
different sides to myself
with a big dose of cute
mall goth phase in middle school
daily jeans, japanese
no longer putting boundaries

in fact kind of the opposite
it's going to be a process but
I want to rock a Gothic

Sunday, September 20, 2009

4 Things I Learned

It’s a simple truth by screwing up.
There are few mistakes
Don’t shy away from
your biggest screw up ever

To be human is on some level a quest
And no, this doesn’t mean guys who like beer,
can help answer this question for you
write deep soul searching material
this doesn’t mean you have to

Call into question some “truth”
make some people angry,
please all the people all the time
or go out on a limb sometimes
instant electricity

I mean it. Really. Don’t be afraid
to teach people something
keep them coming back for more
with a school lesson!
Life is
A well placed joke

and Experience
is the name

Saturday, September 5, 2009

About Me

I watch a lot of movies. I like a lot of movies.
I'm a blissfully married, work-at-home
model because that comes with the territory
and it helps keep everyone happy.
I have a broad sense of style when it comes to
clear my head of all those crazy thoughts
I hope you enjoy reading this
I don't fuck around, meaning-
i am learning to live

who loves fashion?
and likes to share?
who hates New Jersey summers?
I only surround myself with positive
I love, and also dance, harder than most
I'm a writer by birth, I am very friendly
and willing to do what it takes
but I'd prefer to write children's stories.

i won't have a tattoo by the time
I lead a brand culture group
Aside from the practical, studious, adult
brillant minds I come across everyday
I can be so goofy and nerdy
i have a bet with my little brother
that's why I get the things I want in life.

Me gusta la literatura, me llena y me
body, my words and my art. I am
a freelance
hot little advertising agency
in my apple scented corner of the house

find a bit of inspiration yourself
use it as retail therapy

Nice to meet you

Friday, August 21, 2009

What Is Usenet?

If you have a good newsgroup idea,
ignore it at your peril. It is
not a democracy, however foolish
to jump into. Try to force
your will on people.
Property rights
being what they are,
who can tune you out
with the press of a key?

Then read the "news.groups"
newsgroup, for a while at least.
It is embarrassing to speak
and it is futile to try,
as was observed above.

If you are unhappy,
there is no higher authority
to find out how things work.
If you're too impatient to wait,
there is exactly one feature
- its decisions are almost always
carried out. The current guidelines
require any coercion.

Or you might find external pressure
of your own from somewhere else.
With a minimal investment, they might
do something - if they feel like it, that is.
By the same token, if you don't like
a society you don't understand,
consider the process a sham
and a fraud, since there is no power.

Chalk one up to experience.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

"RE: The official"

Should we not start from what we do know then?
But the question on everyone's heads is: when
Besides; the world is coming to an end
a project for the banker dude, turn it in

let's start with what we do know, and work from there.
paint a bright and cheery smile upon your cranium
he's going to just keep his mouth shut on this one
and passionately make love to everyone

Although I was referring to Jerome’s dome
- And Bravo, he is not a she, but how do you know?
your choice of vile words, so I feel that I shall
Perseverance is the key to triumph now

you, we, he and I all know damn well:
I need an aspirin and a shotgun shell….

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Reading Up on Warning Signs

A prior relationship exists between
the central theme of the delusion,
usually of a higher status, idealized
romantic love, and control that comes
from stalking and spiritual union -
incompetent, resentful, and predatory.

Unlike the intimacy seekers, the relationship
has gone “sour” (Based on the Diagnostic
Statistical Manual, 4th ed.), demanding to be
the center of attention, and speaks in a manner
overly impressionistic and lacking in detail.

The offending individual perceives some mistreatment.
Mistreatment is defined as "The object of affection."
Males, seen most often in forensic samples, come
into contact with the law. Females are seen most
often as "the willful, malicious and repeated
relationship, dating, and lover that another person
is in love with."

The victim is almost always obsessed in their love,
similar to the erotomanic individuals. To rectify
the schism, or to seek some type of retribution,
a campaign is begun to make his/her existence
a result of a relationship dissolution - this
individual has a primary psychiatric diagnosis.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

when perfection comes

When I became a man,
I reasoned like a child.
I speak in the tongues of
my body to the flames

I have a faith that can move
but I give all I possess
where there are tongues,
they will be stilled
when perfection comes

when perfection comes
it does not boast, it is not proud

when perfection comes
then we shall see face to face

then I shall know fully,
even as I am fully known.
when perfection comes
when perfection comes

when perfection comes
love, I gain nothing.
it will pass away
it never fails.

I am only a resounding
gift to the poor imperfect.
Like a child, I thought
of angels, but have not

when perfection comes
I am nothing.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

then imperfection

instead of asking the lady out
I'll admit I don't know what the hell
Our thoughts (mind) are impossible
without the body - my body has learned how

my brain always wants to take a bus
To do this, you have to act. When
my body has learned how to filter
the substance, by thinking of this woman,
I am in fact wildly optimistic, ungrounded
the reason why alcohol has learned how to
believe we all have spirits, and our bodies
Puking out my soul to ask her out somehow

yeah, my soul wants to go to the beach.
Who wants to go on a date, anyway? I've
hardly ever speak to her and this leads me
to witness the event and think of things to say
To which I reply: This is the reason why
my heart wants to shrivel up and die,
our minds are a product of these laws
and so are logical, mathematical, and rational
our bodies are tools for their experience
since my image of the spirit is based on the physical
It's the guys job to ask her out somehow
we all have spirits, and our bodies are tools

I think about a certain someone often
I think of slitting my throat. Above
all love. All there is is love - by
thinking of this woman, I am in fact
telling myself that the woman I'm actually
thinking of is trapped and has to witness
the event? Does my inability to act
interfere with you? Which leads me to believe,
imperfection, then

Monday, June 8, 2009

like clouds taking back the rain

i've been waiting.
waiting for the damn in my heart to break
until i was done
the dumb decisions i've made
i was hoping
once they started they wouldn't stop
crying out the last six months
for days

but the words came
out of his mouth so fast
in that moment i wasn't prepared.
i watched him shake his head
from the corner of my eye
i shoved it all down deeper
and dried my eyes

when the year's first rain falls
unfamiliar moisture
against my parched eyelids
let the monsoon have its way
but the tears stopped too soon
like clouds taking back the rain

such a petty argument
could send me reeling in pain
for a moment i thought i could let it all go
i could sneak off to my bed
like a slap across the face
and he would be all the more confused
as to why
to make me feel silly
and dried my eyes

when the year's first rain falls
unfamiliar moisture
against my parched eyelids
let the monsoon have its way
but the tears stopped too soon
like clouds taking back the rain

and i was looking forward to
the tears streaming down my face
but they didn't come
the way i expected them to
the tears burned just as bad
all the rejection. and growth.
the surprises. and joy.
unjustified anger
but it wouldn't matter
let it all go
the tears didn't come
enough to make me imagine
the way the dry, cracked, desert earth feels

when the year's first rain falls
unfamiliar moisture
against my parched eyelids
let the monsoon have its way
but the tears stopped too soon.
like clouds taking back the rain

Friday, May 22, 2009

~ Project ~

I have been

busy with this painting
felt sick all day,
since Friday of last week.
I am giving this one away

to a special art friend,
as an art trade. She sent
me her painting and I will try
to complete by the end

here on my art site
I have been exploring the use
with different Neutral colors
like a sweet and sour grape
of Juxtapose

Hopefully it will be in the mail
this week. And with my signature, stretched,
primed, sketched,
stapled, painted, and sealed
with premium French
to Canada soon.

So this painting
is still in process obviously,
today was a bad day for me.

But life is

spare minutes, that might be used

keen readers
will ruefully acknowledge that
time tends to eat
novels, poetry, newspapers, etc.

...even as they erode
the spare minutes
to read,
words always stick in my mind

I've come to think of
all of this wonderful stuff
Unforgettable literary heroines
novels that I read at an impressionable age
too preoccupied, too satiated,
ignored both phone and doorbell

I was gorging myself on the un-put-downable
I've been feasting on novels
from Monday afternoon (when I bought the book
until I had completely consumed
time that would otherwise be devoted to
the world outside


the world outside of my book,
acquainting us with hitherto-unknown
experience described by theorists
just like my childish avid reader self,
would cease to exist

and I would be in the
words and worlds
the person that I am
the story.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

last school paper

I have one paper left
It is due in precisely
23 hours and 13 minutes.
and four finals left
before I am DONE

last spring,
featuring blue skies
and gentle breezes
all the tiny things
you left behind.

Ah me, another rainy
I'm so very close,
but all I want
so I gave in

and let the music have its way.
and let the music have its way.
and let the music have its way.

It was lovely.
The cloudy day
and mood music
Only the peaceful songs
(also only
the melancholy songs).

When I want peace,
this is what appears...
something more upbeat,
to simply pound

about those vague memories
three afternoons of work
two physics homework assignments,
I'm not sure why this is my
favorite music, but it really is.

Ah me, another rainy
I'm so very close,
but all I want
so I gave in

and let the music have its way.
and let the music have its way.
and let the music have its way.

that come into my mind
I vaguely remember
one paper left
two Philosophy classes
and two Physics Classes

and cool enough to be
is sleep this afternoon
it came with the room;
for an hour or so.
I had nothing to do with it--honest!
don't help my lethargy

I love the stories
even if I don't turn on
I find myself humming
Today it was Tchaikovky's
one of Yo-yo Ma's
Though if you were to ask me,

classical music is not
for the life of me
and honestly that goes for pop
their voices or music
are quite distinct

Ah me, another rainy
I'm so very close,
but all I want
so I gave in

and let the music have its way.
and let the music have its way.
and let the music have its way.

here I am rambling
when I ought to be writing
I care about American policy
I can hardly express how little

Since the energy crisis in '73
the supplier is only as stable as
human rights we have ignored
and threats to national security

my favorite--but with this music--
and information about their songs
it seems like you're just talking
about a friend like Bing Crosby,
for example, or the Beach Boys

if only I could make that into
politicalese and stick it
in a memo.

Humm, it's stopped raining. Isn't
life ironic? Anyhow, I most definitely need
to write that paper now.

Monday, May 18, 2009

We will no longer

and he has strong opinions,
no more pet names,
movie nights,

and he will never lie to you.
runs to coffee bean
saying goodnight,

And he loves art,
joke about swan flu, or do
goodbye in the morning,

he is free spirited,
and I did the dishes
and he did the cooking.

He is a good, trustworthy,
it just stops me in my tracks
The idea seems so strange

And I'm devastated
like my heart isn't broken,
he and I were one month shy

to say the least,
considerate and loving.
We had a pretty good routine

It was not what I expect
because I respected him.
all of his stuff out supposedly

if I will survive this
I'm not going to pretend
I will be just fine

I have to respect his wishes,
And after that I will
guess in some aspects

no relationship is free
to handle this gracefully
to deal with the pain

I got dumped yesterday.
I am not sure I know how
Good people hurt each other.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

it's easy to hit me

secrets make you sick. I think
it's easy to see the cracks
The lack of confidence, the way one eye
glaring, all of it comes into focus
there is no such thing as privacy

I wonder how
to reveal yourself in the process.
there's always someone we're going to
imagine it would be hard not to

I was hit by two things; one,
I go through stages of love
on first acquaintance. Then,
I adore those flaws the way I did
what the big deal was.

Unless it was you

with your insights on the people
and write the absolute brutal truth
in the way of the simple or very naive.
I like or dislike you or a combo of
my first and last name by now.

on the outside, I stay pretty wrapped up, so
I love you once I like you, I can
overlook both the good and bad
Nine times out of ten, I am fascinated by
all the good and little of the bad

to write the whole truth when no one knows
I've handed that over
do it. It's easy

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Declaration of Patriotism

of armed troops among us:
the most wholesome and necessary
of immediate and pressing importance,
We must, therefore, acquiesce

and our sacred Honor,
the opinions of mankind,
destructive of these ends:
our Lives, our Fortunes,

the Laws of Nature and of
Governments are instituted among
a long train of abuses and
Systems of Government.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate
an absolute Tyranny over these
the rights of the people. Such
has been the patient sufferance
for light and transient causes;

for opposing with manly firmness
Petitions have been answered
that they should declare the causes
to be self-evident, that all men
are sufferable than to right themselves

To prove this, let Facts be submitted
For quartering large bodies
of their Public Records, for the sole
political bands which have connected
places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant

it is the Right of the People
refused for a long time,
after such dissolutions,
for the public good,

to tyrants only.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Collage Poetry is Bullshit

my theft by thinking of it
is a theoretical contrivance
Your computer’s cut-and-paste function
can’t think of a very good line

so I’m going to steal somebody else
Then I’m going to lionize
I’m going to recycle somebody else
whatever 'discourse' and benight it

that collage technique
is the signature
How many times have we heard
The whole “culture of belatedness” routine

Let me translate: "so I’m going to steal
somebody else’s shit."
method of post-modernity? "I , as post-modern.
under my Barthesian halo."

All of the noise
is a load of apocalyptic
Fundamentalist stormtroopers prophesying
“death of literature”

only instead of being evangelical:
camel dung. the end of the world, French post-whogivesafuck.
That’s fine, if it really produces a new method.
ain't it.

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Saturday, May 2, 2009

people don’t like poetry

people don’t like poetry
They get turned off by how
A lot of no one, not even the poets,
desperately poets
try to be profound,
expressing “big ideas”

these people simply need
plain language and attempts
at insight. Perhaps, though,
to be introduced to Ron Padgett,
makes you think about how good life
can be. of his counterparts’
simple ideas speak to reality,
fails to reach the height of beautiful, direct honesty
which is reason enough to take comfort in its pages.

Padgett offers only the simplest tips
that really understand. in a deeper way than most
such as eating oranges or brushing your teeth.
Padgett has always articulated something.
other poets have not

While Padgett’s latest collection,
on improving life,
is expressed when you find
that it is far more defective than you imagined.

he doesn’t take himself too seriously
in a way that assures the reader that
there is a new kind of cynicism

philosophy could be summed
up into a single piece of guidance
of sitting alone in a restaurant
desperately sad from time to time.

In the title poem, Despite this,
the intensity of pleasure and sorrow
in the middle of a pointless war,
its tragic loneliness and
disappointments. Even Padgett, apparently,
feels out of line with Padgett’s other works

the longest poem in the collection
discusses just that.
poetry as a means of exclaiming
still living, one of the only New
York School poets in the everyday life.
name your own history
for the smallest reasons
of being alive in his latest collection.

if we didn’t exist,
the emptiness of the universe,
we wouldn’t express the exhaustion
a kiss or similes, be able to think about
the moon,
Huge and Incredible Injustice
that progress exists,
as always, but also

when you’re lying in bed trying to get to sleep
the frustrated result of living in a country
that appears in “How to Be Perfect”
can make you laugh out loud

express an unfamiliar pessimism.
Absolutely in the World, still —
existing is the better choice,
all the more powerful and terrifying.
Perhaps they are but lines like “Don’t think ”

Ultimately, though, Padgett still reminds us
Padgett, starts to seem like the better choice
to any Padgett reader
to know that they’re not the only ones

one of very few poets whose work
usually uses his his love of life, lines like
“don’t be so serious.”
- or bring to mind those things you think about,
worrying about these sorts of things.
He communicates the joys of life,
Is it a blind spot particular to me?

No, it’s not, and it’s comforting

Friday, May 1, 2009

Running In Heels

this might be my
means to go out and do
I'm somehow going to
yet another chapter
in one place, with two small boxes
I just signed up
for a marathon
that I'm probably not
ready to be training for
Which is why I'm running.
enough to start the real training
to truly understand
and I didn't. Today

it's completely hit me
I won't be returning
seeing the same
feeling the same
I don't think that
on Monday morning,
people, frustrations.
I walked away

it's going to take
me a while when I started
the last day
the feeling
the job
at the agency.
after three years
I was only - I thought
I knew everything
what it all meant to me.

It's funny that
I've grown. Or,
I hope that I have.
a bit of an epiphany
this week I had

I'd like to think that
at the very least,
In the past year, I've lost
the love of my life,
I've left the first job

I suppose some people go
crazy, like buy a yacht
or a Porsche
and I think
I embarked on this entirely new
quarter-life crises (granted,
a year late - procrastinator)
I don't think
I know really who I am.

in the past three years,
I ever had
and have
single life.
this crazy idea that if I train
for this marathon
- find myself in the process,
somewhere out there
on those long Sunday runs

I have exactly
6 weeks to get my ass
into shape
the real me is just waiting
to be found.

But I think I have to try
to look for her.